Life can be tough – even overwhelming at times. This time of year is always the busiest for me. Annual accounts for our farm and business are due in (usually overdue), we are lambing (which I love but is extra work). To add to that last years lambs have been sold, the cottage (that we rent out through AirBnB and holiday houses is slow). All of these external factors have the potential to make my life more stressful and putting me on edge and more reactive. In the last few years, I have learned how my thoughts create my feelings and therefore how I have an element of control over my mood (and therefore happiness). Like anything it takes practise, and is by no means a cure-all. Depression and grief can be deep-seated and often need the help of trained professionals. However, my hope is that you find some of these ideas helpful or that you feel inspired to create your own ways of lifting the blues.
Connect With Nature
Take any opportunity you can to immerse yourself in sunlight. Eat your lunch outside, schedule any outdoor chores in the middle of the day when you can enjoy the warmth. Use the shorter days as an excuse to watch the sunset, hold a bonfire (or at least brazier), wrap up warm and star gaze.
Create a Joy List
This is a great rainy day activity. Set aside some time to write down anything and everything that makes you happy… big and small. A fun activity in itself, it is great to do it with a friend or family member. Compare your lists and schedule in some time together doing things that you have in common on your lists! I had no idea before I tried this just how much of an impact this would have on my happiness. Now when I do things from my list I feel immersed in the joy of the activity. Now you have a list of things to do to lift you up when you are feeling down! It may be as simple as a lovely cup of tea, reading, or picking flowers for the house. Try to do at least one thing from the list every day.
Playlists
Music can be very moving and so is a great tool for manipulating your mood. Even the most mundane tasks can become fun with a great soundtrack playing in the background (something that makes you sing and boogie about). Make up playlists for different situations: relaxing for bedtime or whenever you need to wind down, a party list for when you need a pick me up, favourite songs from your youth that have you reminiscing about happy times, songs of hope, a roadtripping list… you get the picture.
Connect
Put away your laptops and phones and connect with yourself, nature, people and animals. We live in such a “connected” world, where there is constant interaction and stimulation via our devices. When my children were young I would sometimes have “powerless Sundays” when there would be no TV (I didn’t actually turn off the power). We would get out board games and spend the afternoon together. It is so easy to just keep checking things off the to do list. Connecting is something that seems to need more effort now than it used to. Make the effort!
Take Care of Your Body
I know it sounds simple, but we all too often slip into the habit of putting other people’s needs before our own. Time to put your needs at the top of your to-do list. Take some time to look at your lifestyle choices and recognise how they affect you both emotionally and physically. Check your nutrition. Are you eating the rainbow (veggies that is – not skittles!) or are you reaching for sweet treats and fast food? What about your hydration? Move your body (any way that makes you feel good!) What do you do for yourself when you know you are stressed? Make a plan – walk, talk to a friend, take a bath, read for pleasure, listen to music. How are you sleeping? What about toxins in your food and environment? These put pressure on your liver and can affect your hormones. Are you listening to the subtle signals your body is giving you or do you just push on? The little niggles tend to become much louder screams if they are ignored. Check in with your body… how do I feel today? Is there anything I need to address? A headache is often a sign of dehydration, mouth ulcers of not enough sleep, and gout or thrush indicate your diet needs looking at.
Emotional Stocktake
We all have times in our lives when we feel low, but there are different depths and severity of sadness. The longer we go on barely in emotional survival mode, the harder it becomes to pick ourselves up. Even on good days we need to remind ourselves of the positive things in our lives (we all have those too). Writing in a gratitude journal every morning is a great habit to begin. It starts your day off looking at what is right in your life and not what is wrong. When negative feelings do surface, allow them to come – cry, yell, sigh – then breathe, reset and move on. Talk to someone you trust that is a good listener. Surround yourself with positive images (photos that portray great memories around your home and as screensavers). Be aware of what thoughts, people, situations, images, and music make you feel good and those that make you feel bad. Now plan to avoid the negative ones and surround yourself with as much feel-good stuff as you can. Just make sure that the feel-good that you’re reaching for doesn’t have any adverse effects on you or others (drugs, alcohol, sugar). Be kind – think “how would I help a friend that needs TLC?” Now do that for yourself or ask someone to help you.
Strengthen Your Sense Of Belonging
We are all ingrained with a need to belong, but not all people are our people. Recognise this. Not everyone will love you and that is okay, because you don’t love everyone either! In this modern world of facebook and instagram we no longer seem satisfied with just having a handful of great friends. You can’t please everyone, so don’t waste your time trying. Be authentic. Who are you? What do you love to do? Join classes or groups where you will meet like-minded people with similar interests (see your Joy List for inspiration). Volunteer for a charity that appeals to you. This helps you to feel valued and it feels good to help others. Invite people to your home. Don’t wait until your house looks perfect. People remember your hospitality, not the dirty dishes in your sink.
Life is too short to be miserable. Take positive steps to live a happier life. Invite in gratitude, enjoy the sunshine, stop to smell the roses. Make great choices. Every minute, every second, is an opportunity to shine, to rise above, to be the best version of yourself that you can be. Spring is here!